I would be inclined to turn the whole back room into a play area and hire the whole thing out for more £££, but what do I know. We live four miles away so definitely wouldn’t bother trekking here if there was no soft play, and if you’re local there are other nice cafes nearby – including the not-so-little Highness tearoom down the road. Also I mean yeah they do nice food and everything but, given that it calls itself a play cafe, I feel like the whole point is slightly lost if the play area is closed. While this means that the front cafe can remain open when the soft play is being hired out for a party, it did feel like a bit of a waste of space since everybody understandably wanted to sit in the back with their kids, leaving the front room completely empty. Worst Bits: The cafe is split into two rooms, with one seating area at the front by the counter and another in the back room next to the play area. If only for the preservation of my sanity I’m hopeful that it’s only a matter of time before play cafes achieve the one-on-every-corner ubiquity of Pret-a-Manger, although I’ll probably regret saying that in a few years’ time.īest Bits: Big, bright, bouncy soft play area complete with ball pool and padded walls so you don’t have to worry about your kids sliding out and smacking their heads on the floor. I also refuse to believe that I’m the only person selfish enough to want to combine my baby’s interests (crawling, licking stuff) with my own (caffeinating myself), as opposed to sitting in a circle with 20 other mums and babies, clapping along to a protracted rendition of the Hokey Cokey led by a militantly enthusiastic host who probably despises children. I’ve seen other people drinking coffee before so that’s definitely a thing, plus I see people out and about with children quite a bit so I can’t be the only one who has one. We walked from Highbury & Islington through Highbury Fields, stopping off for a swing in the awesome play park on our way home.ĭiscovery: I Googled “play cafe London” and this was basically all that came up, which makes no sense to me whatsoever. I do feel like this is an incredibly random location for what, as far as I can tell, is London’s only dedicated play cafe (as opposed to a regular cafe that also caters to kids), but it’s an easy one to get to and close to two of my favourite kids’ boutiques Essex Road’s Molly-Meg and Olive Loves Alfie on Stoke Newington Church Street. Where?: Highbury Park, just a 10-minute walk from Arsenal (Piccadilly) and Drayton Park (National Rail), and 15 minutes from Highbury & Islington (Victoria and Ginger) or Canonbury (Ginger). Anyway it’s essentially a cafe with a play area at the back, but much better than that sounds because it’s soft play and everyone loves soft play. Is it meant to be like a ‘little princess’ reference? It has a bouncy-castle-type thing so maybe… highness… castle… I dunno. I suppose it sounds a bit like Highbury, which where it is. What?: ‘Little’ because it’s for little people, ‘Highness’ because… actually I’m not really sure what that’s about. Fuck that thing.Little Highness is now One Root Bakery and no longer has a play area. PS: DZ Discovery Zone was 100x better than Chuck E Cheese as long as you stayed away from the slide of death. It would almost be disrespectful if you didn’t go to one and witness a homicide. So if you decide to go to one of those places, you pretty much are asking to be stabbed. It’s safer for a woman to walk naked down Main Street in Iran than for anyone to enter the doors of a Chuck E Cheese. It’s breeding grounds for disease, gang violence, and furry fuckers. Going to a Chuck E Cheese is quite literally the last place you should ever be. These idiots wanting to play skeeball or wack-a-mole so badly but it doesn’t work, so they planned a revolution to take over the joint.īut more importantly, if you take your kid to a Chuck E Cheese’s and then allow your kid to jump into the ball pit you should have your vagina filled up with cement and/or your dick removed from your body and fed to the fishes at Sea World. Which is actually hilarious, thinking about them getting so heated that they just couldn’t take it any longer. And now 12-14 people beat the shit out of the employees because a game wasn’t working. But absolutely nothing good happens at a Chuck E Cheese’s. That place is supposed to bring so much happiness, but instead it brings creepy mouse costumes, polio in the ball pit, and gang fights in the parking lots.
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